does your brain ever hurt?

Sometimes our choices in life are beyond difficult, beyond reason, beyond sanity. Sometimes they are shrouded in mystery. Sometimes they hurt the ones we love, some times they have to. What do we lose by failing to stand up for our convictions, to do the things that hurt, even when we think the prize is worth the cost? What do we lose by not standing up? We can look around at our world and we can see the cost of our choices, the cost of forgetting what it means to be human, for failing to make the right choices, and failing in our responsibilities to ourselves, our species, and our earth. But, where do we look to see the damage done to our own psyches, and to see the damage our choices cause in others? Is there such a place beside our hearts? Is there a better test of who we are and the world we create than exists within our souls, and lingers between our relationships with our fellow humans? Sometimes our choices, though painful to make, are made in an altruistic manner. And sometimes we just think they are. What do we do when we have made a choice that causes a pain so deep, that cuts so sharp, but is ultimately necessary? We do what we always do, we recognize that life is a process, and that process is built upon choices. Our choices need to reflect our own inner truths, rely on balance, and “the middle way” taking nothing to an extreme, and hopefully, if we are lucky, our choices are built upon intent, rather than expectation. I am not sure why I sat down to type this, except to illustrate to myself the questions burning in my brain lately. Although it is more for me than for my 2 or 3 readers, maybe it can answer something for you. I do know that life is one day at a time, one moment at a time, and we have to do the best we can to create the reality that we wish to live in, and sometimes in order to do that painful words are said, ultimatums are given and hearts are sometimes broken. And sometimes, hearts like eggs when cracked open bring a bit of gold into our world that wasn’t there, wasn’t seen, or was taken for granted when we couldn’t see beyond its thin shell. And sometimes hearts like eggs are cracked from the inside, and life pops its little head out, and says “surprise!” Only time can give us many of the answers we yearn for as humans, and only our actions can guide us into the future, so that we may hear the answers. So our unreasonable, insane and painful choices do have within them at least the potential for a future that feels more real that our present illusions may sometimes grant us.
Namaste